Preston's Birth Story {part 2}

This post is LONG! But so many fun details that I don't want to leave any out. :)

So, as mentioned in my earlier post, It was a little after 10pm when I was waking up my husband, Kyle, telling him my water had just broken and I was definitely in labor. Our youngest daughter Charleigh was wide awake enjoying the show of mommy shavingherlegs making preparations for labor and daddy running around all over the house getting the birth pool supplies up and running.

I gave my phone to Charleigh while I was having contractions and she took this picture of me while I was pacing the floor. So funny! and yes, our Christmas tree was half lit and un-decorated. TRUE LIFE! Plus, it was still a week out from Thanksgiving, so no rush. :)

Up until this point I hadn't been totally set out either way about having a water birth. I know some women are extremely passionate about having their babies in the water, but I was sort of straight down the road about it. I didn't mind if I delivered the baby on the bed, but just in case I wanted to lessen the labor pains, I knew that I would want to have the birth pool ready to go for me to get in whenever the time came. 

About 10 minutes into Kyle gathering everything, he noticed that the sink adapter (the part that you hook the water hose up to the sink with, in order to fill the pool with warm water) was not attaching correctly to our sink, therefore not working. He caught this glitch quickly, and was in the basement going through his tools trying to correct the problem.

At this point, around 10:30, I was in active labor. My contractions were coming every 4 minutes, lasting about 30-40 seconds. At first, they were just a little annoying, but completely bearable still. I should make note that apparently I have an extremely high tolerance for pain, in general. I don't enjoy being uncomfortable, but when it comes to pain, I'm really good at keeping it mind-over-matter and not freaking out. 

I had been in touch with my midwife, Tanya, who told me to just keep tracking them and to get back in touch with her in thirty minutes, and she would probably leave home to come over at that point, as long as everything continued. At this point, I honestly thought I would probably not deliver the baby at least until 5-6am at the earliest. This was my first start-to-finish natural delivery (I ended up having a natural delivery with Charleigh, but it was unplanned and I was unprepared, so it was super frustrating and I promised myself then that I would never try to depend on an epidural again). I really truly thought, especially since I was going to be at home, that my labor would be longer than any of my others. In my past experience, my longest labor had been about 5 hours start-to-finish. But that was with medical assistance, so I wasn't counting it. ;) 

Well, once I realized Kyle was sort of panicking - silently - that there was an issue with the birth pool stuff, I knew he wasn't going to be coming around me any time soon, and that my contractions were slowly beginning to get more and more uncomfortable. So walking around during each contraction with my 2-year old following me, repeating the phrase " What'd you do? What'd you do, mama? Where you goin, mama?" was not going to cut it much longer. So, I picked up the phone, called my mom and informed her that although Kyle was being extremely helpful for the big picture, I needed actual help, since CJ was wide awake with no sleeping in the near future at all. She told me she would grab her things and head down in 15 minutes (they live 15 minutes away). Perfect. I actually tried to distract myself and decided to try to keep watching tv in between contractions (still thinking I had 6+ hours to go), so I turned on the next recording on our DVR, The Goldbergs (funniest show ever). However, our basement door is near our family room (where I was), and the birth pool was planned to be in our bedroom on the top floor, so Kyle was constantly coming in and out of the room, heading up and down the stairs working on his project to get things fixed and running. Bless his heart. He realized he was going to need to go to the store (walmart was the only thing open at this time) to simply replace the part that wasn't working. I didn't want him to leave me home alone, so I had asked him to wait until my mom got here so he could go then. So in the mean time he was still trying to fix it with things at home.

Within about 15 minutes maybe, I was uncomfortable enough that all of his commotion was starting to really annoy me. I just wanted him take and deal with Charleigh, but I also wanted the birth pool for the soon-to-be hard contractions, so I also wanted him to keep working, so I was torn at how I felt about him running around. Ha!

 I finally looked at the clock and realized it had been 45 minutes since I had spoken to my mom, and my parents still weren't here to get the kids. I called her and she informed that their car broke down on the way! Thankfully they were still in their neighborhood, but they were walking on foot back to their house to get their other car and drive down. I knew it would be at least another 20 minutes before they could get here (and save me from the toddler!), but I was so over waiting. So, I stopped Kyle in his tracks and said, " Okay, clearly this is not working and you need to just go get a new part to replace the one that isn't working. Now either you can go to Walmart, and have Chris or Lana stay here with me(our best friends who live about a mile from us that were our back-up in case my parents couldn't make it to help), or you can call Chris and have him go to Walmart and you stay here with me. Those are your choices, we're not waiting on my parents anymore." Kyle, again, bless his sweet, still-groggy heart, stared for a minute in silence and finally said "Just call Chris and have him go."

So I picked up my phone and called Lana. What's funny is she knew I was in labor, as she coincidentally sent me a text message within 5 minutes of my water breaking just checking on me. Chris had been out for a run during that time, so Lana called him and told him and they were sort of just waiting for news from us. 

What is even more funny, is that the entire pregnancy, once my home birth was official, Kyle had half jokingly said to Chris that he had no desire to witness the birth and that once I was in labor, he was calling Chris and the two of them were taking off to Longhorn to eat and "wait for the call" together. 

We joked about this the entire time I was pregnant but I really did not think they would play such a big part in the big day. What's sweet is that they were the friends who told us that Preston was a HE and not a She, after I had the gender ultrasound and we had a big dinner that night with a fun reveal sign that Lana made for us. I wish I would've blogged this day! But we were about to move into our new house and life was crazy busy. Regret! But here are some pictures from that night. Sad we didn't take any with Chris and Lana themselves! 

This is Chris and Lana Parker :)

Okay, so back to the story.

Lana ended up sending Chris over to the house to grab the part so he could head to walmart and get a new one.

A few minutes after Chris came and left, my parents arrived. My dad got the big girls out of the bed, and all three of them loaded into my van to take them back to their house. I said goodbye to them, but I guess I acted fine since it was in between contractions, so my kids had no idea I was in labor and I guess my dad didn't mention it to them. So fun :)

So, it was finally time to focus on the fact that I was really in labor. About this time I spoke on the phone to Tanya, and she said she would head down to my house within 15 minutes. A lot of what she had told me previously to being in labor was that midwives can tell in the sound of the tone in your voice if you're pretty far into your laboring or not. She wasn't in too big of a hurry, since I seemed fine on the phone. That was at 11:15.

My mom and I came upstairs to my bedroom, and I labored upstairs for a while, continuing to walk around during each contraction, and my mom was my typical mom, straightening up and making everything perfect. She swapped our linens out for the ones we had waiting to use for labor, bed sheets, and towels, and was a caretaker to me when I needed something. At one point, maybe around 11:50, I was thirsty and hungry, so I had her bring me up a glass of grape juice. Within 5 minutes I felt sick from that, so I took two tums. Within a few minutes from that I ran to the bathroom to vomit. So, apparently I was far enough along into labor that food/drinks= no bueno. But I still thought I had HOURS to go, as my contractions were still anywhere from 2-4 minutes apart, and I just was naive I guess. 

Somewhere around then, Chris returned after being gone quite a while to Walmart, with no luck of having the part. So him and Kyle were downstairs trying to rig something to make it work. Poor guys. I should have let them off the hook at this point. :)

At one point around this time, my mom was downstairs helping the guys when my contractions took a turn for the worse. I had to really use my thoughts to get me through each one. 

I had a playlist of praise music ready to go on my phone and I just sat on my bed for a few minutes taking it all in during a contraction. I remember reciting the verse over and over again in my head, "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." I was listening to one of my favorite songs by Christy Nockels, Revive Me, and it brought me to tears. Even though downstairs it was sort of chaotic, I just tuned it all out and really thought about the miracle that I knew was about to happen. Even though I was in probably the worst pain of my life, I couldn't help but be so grateful and thankful that I was getting to be a part of that miracle. I knew no matter how bad it was going to get, that I could get through it with God's help. I'm not sure I've ever felt closer to God than in that moment! I was so vulnerable, almost helpless, but getting through each part of it with His words written on my heart. I really felt His presence with me. So thankful for that sweet moment with Christ before I got to meet my sweet Preston!

Unfortunately, that moment didn't last very long. But I'm just so happy I had it!! Since the birth pool was in my bedroom, my assistants came in to continue fixing the problem. I must mention that the entire time I was pregnant, I really pictured my home birth differently. I wanted it to be calm, serene, music... just laboring the time away. I did not picture the Goldbergs on in the background, Chris Parker and Kyle becoming tool men, me rushing to shave my legs, and my two year old being my birth partner for more than half of the time. But, it kind of matches my life, unfortunately. I always try to prepare and have things *just right*, just like everyone else, and it never fails that I end up having some crazy, chaotic, HILARIOUS event instead. I think I've finally accepted that I just can't be normal even when I try. It's probably time to stop fighting it and just embrace my crazy already. :)

I remember looking at the clock at 12:09 and Tanya still had not arrived, and thinking "Okay, when is she going to get here? Not sure how much longer I can do this without her". Not because my mom wasn't helping, but mostly because I had not done a single thing to prepare for natural childbirth.

 #procrastinatingatitsworst. 

I had intended on it, but never did. Ha!

 So I wasn't sure if there was something I could be doing other than walking... and I was curious how far dilated I was, and in general just wanted her for emotional support, since this was it!

Well, exactly a minute later she arrived. She calmly came upstairs and I had another contraction. I tried to use the restroom in between contractions as much as I could, so I wouldn't have any distractions when it counted. For some reason I STILL thought I had hours to go though!! The contractions were completely painful by then and I remember telling Tanya in between them, " I'm not saying I want to quit. But I must admit that during these I have had thoughts of 'why can't I just use drugs like every other woman in the world?! why do I have to make my life so much more difficult than it has to be?! why can't I just be NORMAL!" hahaha

During one of them I said to her, " What am I DOING?!" (meaning this hurts so bad) and she was so sweet, she brought me back down to reality and said "You're having a baby. It's worth it." I'm so thankful she was there to remind me of what I was doing. It's easy to get caught up in the hard and forget the wonderful prize at the end that's coming!

Tanya and my mom were chatting away in my bedroom, while I was in the bathroom trying not to vomit from the pain. At one point, I got another contraction and apparently my tone of voice changed and Tanya came in, and said " Um.. do you feel like pushing?!!!" I said "I think so!" and she immediately began setting everything up.

JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME the guys fixed the sink adapter! I was still having that same contraction when Tanya said to me, "Okay, we can go ahead and fill up the pool but it MIGHT cover your ankles at the most." I STILL didn't comprehend that this was it, I don't think I really heard what she was trying to tell me when she said that. Her point was that there wasn't enough time, I think I took it as it wouldn't work properly. So I pointed at my bathtub and agreed to just use it instead. Around this time I started sweating and remember kind of feeling not myself. I even asked my mom "Is Chris Parker still here??! Tell him I'm sorry he has to hear all of this! and make sure the door is closed!" (As if he was even going to THINK about coming up the stairs?!) haha! Because at this point I definitely couldn't keep silent through each contraction. 

I still wasn't set out on INSISTING on having a water birth, I just wanted my pain to come down. I guess I had it in my head that birth pool = no more pain. I figured water was water, so my bathtub was good enough, even though I really wanted the birth pool to work out. Once I gave her the green light to fill up the tub, Kyle appeared out of no where and had the water running right as another contraction came. They were much closer together now, maybe 1 minute apart? I don't think I had seen or spoken to him since the "call Chris" conversation we had last, a good hour and half earlier.

Here's where the "Everybody Loves Raymond" moment happened. Poor Kyle.

He was running my water, and held out his hand and said "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" and wanted to hold my hand through the contraction. I went all mean on him and said, "NO! and I'm PISSED at your for ruining my water birth!!!!!!!!! You should have made sure that part would work correctly weeks ago!! DON'T even try to help now!!"

Bless his heart. {insert laughing-til-you-cry emoticon here}.

He was a good man and didn't try to argue with me. Just as the tub was nearly full, I had another contraction that was so painful I sort of yelled through it. That's when Tanya very quickly gave me my orders to GET IN THE TUB, NOW.

I practically dove into the water and immediately had about 20 seconds of relief. THANK GOODNESS!! I used those 20 seconds to just breathe, but I remember sweat pouring down my face. 

Then it happened. I had one contraction so bad that I screamed, just like in the movies. I closed my eyes and I swear to you it was an out-of-body experience. It's like my body just took over and I remember thinking "This hurts SO BAD I don't think I can handle more of these!". I was pushing and figured, as with my other babies, I would have a few more pushes to go before baby. (At this point I knew it was time, and not going to be hours and hours more, but with my other children I pushed a few times. My shortest amount was with my first, I pushed twice. My longest one being with my third, Charleigh, I pushed for about 10 minutes. A lot of that was my unpreparedness for being able to feel EVERY SINGLE THING (unplanned) and I was so upset that I could feel it that I didn't really focus on what I was doing.)

Well, I was wrong! That boy came out during that one single push!! My midwife did not even have on her other glove, and she had to catch the baby with one hand in the water. 

I couldn't believe it. But apparently neither could Kyle. He gets a little squirmy around childbirth. In past babies, he stood behind me in the delivery room, so he couldn't see anything, just be there to hold the baby when it was over. I've never had an issue with it, because I've witnessed him nearly passing out fainting due to having a glimpse at what was happening. So if I wanted him to be present, I had to let him be behind me. haha! 

When I started screaming during that first and last push, he took off. He couldn't take it! I didn't notice in the moment, but learned later that he literally ran out of the bathroom, slammed the bedroom door behind him, and ran down stairs to Chris, skipping every 3 stairs. When he came into the room with Chris, he greeted him with the words, "There are just some things men aught not to see, and that is one of 'em." HA! If you know Kyle, I'm sure you can hear him saying it. 

I don't think he meant to miss the actual birth, he just knee-jerk reacted and took off during the screaming. Well, if I had to guess, probably right as he was slamming the bedroom door shut behind him was the exact moment Preston was born. He literally missed it by half a second! Silly boy.

Once he was out, Tanya put him on my chest and I remember it taking a few minutes for it all to register with me. I couldn't believe I had only pushed once and it was done! It all happened so fast, the whole night. My water broke at 10, my labor began around 10:30, and he was born at 12:36am.

Tanya had only been in my house for 26 minutes before he was born. We didn't even get a chance to call my friend and  birth photographer to get here. Tanya's business partner  and fellow midwife was on her way and Tanya had to call her to tell her not to come, it was too late. :) We all had no idea it would happen so quickly.

We all called Kyle back upstairs and he got to hold Preston. He was probably 2 minutes old. :) 

I stayed in the tub for a few minutes before getting out and taking a shower (my choice, not Tanya's :) ), and I immediately crawled into bed to nurse my new baby!

It was amazing. and crazy. and next time I will have the birth pool sink adapter hooked up to my sink for WEEKS before the baby comes, to make sure none of that happens again.

Or maybe I'll just deliver in the bathtub again :) 

I nursed Preston for a good hour and enjoyed some skin-to-skin contact before we found out his birth weight, height, etc. He was 7lbs 5oz, and 20 inches long, and perfect!

checking out his vitals! And yes, those ARE leopard-print bed sheets. I didn't want to possibly mess up my good linens, and had to buy an extra set to use during birth, so you better believe when my mama called from walmart one day saying they had leopard sheets on clearance, that I was like um YES PLEASE! I'm a leopard lover. I have no shame. :)

I loved that hour of nursing him and just sitting and chatting about the entire experience with my Kyle, my mom, and Tanya. So amazing. We all just sat and laughed!

I took this around 5:30am.




Like I said above, we all just sat and laughed and shared the joy of the miracle that had just happened. Tanya checked Preston, then checked me, and around 3am everyone left to go home. Kyle and I just turned out the lights, and went to sleep, with our new baby in between us. When the lights were out, just before we passed out, I remember we said to each other, "Can you believe he's here? Can you believe that just happened? So amazing."

It really was. I am so thankful to God for giving us Preston. Our first boy. I loved giving birth at home, despite all the funny things that happened. I love that my story is so unique and unlike even my other births. I love that I had such a great midwife to take care of me. I love that Christ gave me the strength to get through it, and for that sweet moment of clarity I had just before the birth.

Preston is now 8 weeks old and we fall more in love with him with each day. I want to document his first few days, and how even more awesome having a home birth was during that time, so I'll try to write up a separate post soon on his first week of life, before I forget it all!

Couldn't be happier!!!